Living the Good Life

So, I don't have our entire backstory loaded on here yet, but I keep promising to create a blog to keep everyone updated on our sweetest of angels, Addie. So, for now, I'm starting with today, and I promise to provide some of our backstory as we go. It's too much to do at one time right now since our days are swallowed up with the NICU and traveling to and from the NICU and simply trying to get through another day without falling asleep somewhere embarrassing (on the elevator, sitting at a red light, standing in line at the store, etc..).

Today is a GREAT day to start this because it's our first truly GREAT day. Life in the NICU is a rollercoaster. You hear this from day one. We've had lots of the down hill dives, plunging for days on end, sometimes spiralling endlessly (or so it feels) through one of those crazy pincurls they have at Six Flags. I should mention I personally hate rollercoasters, have never liked them, and I never will as a result of this adventure. I may be able to cope with them better but certainly won't like them. This is enough rollercoaster for a lifetime. But then that's a whole other story and soapbox.

Anyway, today is a GREAT day, and I will tell you why. First, I walk in at 9:45 this morning excited to see one of my favorite day shift nurses, and what do I see but Addison's isolette top popped up and our sweet nurse Brianne is grinning from ear to ear. I thought she was just impressed that my hair was straight and actually "fixed" for the first time since I met her nearly a month and a half ago, but I quickly forgot about my silly hair. She told me I needed to look at my girl. ..and she's breathing on her own!!! Her ventilator is gone, ladies and gentlemen!! She has promoted for the first time since she was born over 5 weeks ago, and she is breathing all on her own with some O2 pressure coming from a nasal canula and that's it! She's such a big girl!! Her O2 saturation was registering 96 when I walked up to see her, and I have to say, she looked amazing. She got her 4th successful transfusion last night, so her skin was nice and pink, and I got to see her entire face mostly unobstructed for the first time ever. It is the first time I've ever been able to see her entire mouth without the vent tube in the way. She's even more beautiful!! Granted it was then time for a blood gas (a heel stick to draw blood to check her O2 and CO2 levels) so she promptly dropped her O2 sats and started to cry and got all red faced. Even the crying was special, because until now, she couldn't cry because the vent tube was obstructing her vocal cords. Her cry is still soft and a little raspy, but still. ..my baby has a voice for the first time! Her blood gases today have all come back just as good, if not better, than when she was on the ventilator yesterday. They are giving her breathing treatments, and she is also on Decadron, a steroid, to help with lung development and strength. We know she may have to go back on the vent, a lot of babies do, but at least for today, she's getting a break and isn't having to "breath through a straw" with the vent tub removed. She loves having the freedom to turn her head and move around a little without sending us all into a panic. With the vent, she couldn't turn her head or else risk hurting her throat, vocal cords or lungs with the tube, and it was heavy and simply hard for her to move too. So, for now, she has some freedom and is doing amazingly well.

Being on a canula also makes it easier for me and Philip to hold her. Within 15 minutes of walking in, I got to prop her up with my hands and help her "sit up" for the very first time. If you've never had a baby in the NICU, you don't realize the things you can take for granted. I've never gotten to just casually hold Addie in my hands to sit her up and look at her; you simply can't do that when they are on a ventilator. This afternoon she was doing so well on the canula that the nurse practitioners were encouraging me to try out "Kangaroo Care" with Addie. Kangaroo Care is basically simulating what kangaroos do with their babies - carry them in their pouch while they finish developing. So, they stuffed Addie down my shirt so she and I got good skin to skin contact, and I got to hold her for just the second time since she was born 5.5 weeks ago!! The first time was just for about 10 minutes while she was still on the vent. That was the best 10 minutes ever, and that just happened last Friday. Today, I got to hold her in Kangaroo Care for the first time for almost 30 minutes! It was so special. ..I will never ever forget it. She did so well! Her O2 saturation (what we watch in addition to her heart rate) was 80 - 95% the entire time, and she didn't drop her heart rate until they came by to do a breathing treatment. If they hadn't done that, I think she would have been fine with me holding her for even longer! I love that this is a good experience for her and that it helps her grow and develop. ..because it absolutely makes my life. Philip had to go to Kentucky to work today, so I can't tell you how much I hated that he wasn't able to be here. That's the only way this day could have been better, if he could have shared it with us.

Lastly, I went for my final post-op follow up with Dr. Roussis' office, and he told me I could officially "do anything, any time, anyway that you want"! So, I released to run, play, do whatever I want for the first time since we found out we were pregnant on January 2!! This is great news to this otherwise incredibly active person. There's nothing more challenging than going through the most stressful time of your life with your primary form of stress relief - exercise - taken away.

So, I wanted to share the joy that has been our world today. There will be more dips and dives on this rollercoaster, but for today we are basking in happiness. Days like this make all of the terrible days worth struggling through. Addison makes those days worth struggling through. For today, we truly are living the good life.