366 Days of Addie

November 12 is quite possibly my favorite day of the entire year. Unlike every other big day in our new life that is a complicated marriage between trauma and joy, this day is pure happiness. November 12, 2011, is the day that Addie graduated from the NICU, and it's the day that we became full time parents. I know we were Addie's parents while she was in the NICU, and we certainly endured more with her than most parents endure with their children in a lifetime, but November 12 is the day that she became 100% ours. It was the beginning of a new kind of sleepless nights (why won't she sleep in her crib?!) and a whole new level of responsbility. Until then, we shared responsibility with a team of doctors, nurses, NP's, respiratory therapists, speech and occupational therapists; to say that coming home and waking up on November 13 and realizing it's really just us felt like standing in front of the classroom naked and clueless would be an understatement! Thankfully, we didn't leave our team entirely behind, and I'm so thankful that they were patient with my early morning and late night texts asking what to do, if such and such was ok, and who should I call about whatever. I love that we have a forever NICU family, but I have to admit. ..there's no place like home! Now, if I could have just convinced a few of them to help us in shifts at night and to come chat with me during the long, lonely winter days of our first RSV season, life would have been perfect.  :-)

In honor of this great day, I thought I would share a few of the things we have learned over the last 366 days (leap year!) at home.

1.  Tube feeding is messy. ..especially after just 2 hours of sleep at 3 a.m. I am still finding drips of formula on toys, under couches and on walls!

2.  FRIENDS plays all night overnight between a couple of different stations on TV.  It was a life saver and a bit of sanity and comfort during those first 3 months of sleepless nights. I fell in love with Joey, Chandler and Smelly Cat all over again.

3.  You really can function (not well. ..) on just 3 hours of sleep, but four hours is necessary if you want to make sense in conversations and not fall asleep at red lights.

4.  Therapists are a great extension to the outside world when you are in isolation.  Family and friends couldn't come over, but our therapists came like clock work once a week for an hour.  I know they got tired of talking to me about topics totally unrelated to therapy or Addie.

5.  Ellen rocks!  Addie and I danced through many a blah winter's day with Ellen.

6. They're called baby steps for a reason. What's smaller than a baby step you ask? Micro preemie steps, that's what. We've taken teeny, tiny micro preemie steps towards developmental milestones, and we celebrate every single one of them.

7. Cooking dinner and having a clean house are SO overrated.

8. Poop is a topic for lengthy discussion in the mommy circle. Color, texture, frequency, consistency. ..the sky is the limit, and it's all important.

9. If you need to get through a germy ER in a hurry, tell them you may have a shunt malfunction. We did (bonus points!) so we got in and evaluated before Philip could even park the car.

10. You don't know love until you become a parent. Seriously. I didn't know my heart was capable of this depth of emotion.

11. Every hospital should make new parents download the White Noise app onto their iPhone before they leave with their newborn. It is 100% necessary.

12. Nursing / pumping are not for the faint of heart, it does not come easy for everyone, and it flat out hurts.. .but it's one of the most rewarding things I've ever done.

13. Mommy brain is a real thing.

14. You really do cry with joy at first smiles, first coo's, first time rolling over, first steps, first time sitting up, etc, etc. Each one is nothing short of a miracle for any child, so many things have to connect and fall into place. It's the most amazing, beautiful thing I have ever been honored to witness.

15. Passing gas is funny from birth. Addie has been laughing at her little toots since she learned how to giggle.

16. There are millions of super special children like Addie in the world. No two children have experienced the exact same circumstances or challenges, but all are amazing. They and their parents are my heroes.

17. You will listen to Christmas carols in March if that's what helps your child go to sleep.

18. My life is better because Addie is Addie. I love deeper, value life much more, and work harder than I ever imagined every single day. ..each moment is a precious gift whether it is good, bad, or otherwise. I certainly wouldn't have chosen this path, but I have been so blessed by it.

My list could go on and on... I have learned more in the last 17.5 months than I have learned in my entire life before Addie. She is the best teacher I have ever had. She has taught me more about life, perserverence and love in her short life than I could have ever imagined.

Welcome Home!

One year later. ..same chair, same sweater for me apparently. .. My baby is becoming a little girl!

First meal at home with Dad.

Not so happy about this new place. ..where are my nurses!?! These people are NOT qualified!

I just love this.

Ready to go first her first check up!

One year later, going for her 1st Synagis shot of the season!

I love you with all my heart, Addison Lane Humphreys. Thank you for fighting so hard to come home with us.

Love, Mom